Servant Leaders Eat Last: Hearing the Idea vs. Living It
Recently, I've been hearing a lot about servant leadership—the idea that true leaders prioritize the well-being and growth of those they serve. Simon Sinek popularized this concept in his book Leaders Eat Last, inspired by the military practice of officers ensuring their soldiers eat first. It's a powerful philosophy that challenges traditional leadership paradigms, focusing on trust, empathy, and selflessness. And, as often happens, once you're attuned to a topic, the algorithm feeds it to you relentlessly. But hearing about servant leadership is one thing. Living it is another.

A Test of Service: Becoming a Vipassana Course Manager
During the Christmas and New Year period, I decided to serve at a Vipassana meditation retreat. My goal was simple: to find peace and work quietly in the kitchen. But, as life often does, it gave me not what I wanted, but what I needed. I was assigned the role of course manager—a position I felt unprepared for and, honestly, a little resistant to take on.
The course manager, much like a servant leader, is responsible for ensuring the smooth running of the retreat while prioritizing the needs of meditators and fellow servers. One of the key practices? Eating last. While it might seem like a small gesture, it’s a profound symbol of selflessness. As I served others, managed issues, and ate only after everyone else, I found myself embodying the principles I had only read about before.
Living out servant leadership is far from easy. Some of the challenges I faced as a course manager mirrored those that servant leaders face in any setting:
Ego vs. Humility Putting others first isn’t glamorous. It requires setting aside your ego and focusing on the needs of others. For me, this meant accepting feedback, resolving conflicts, and constantly being available, even when I was tired or frustrated.
Emotional Labor Supporting others emotionally can be draining. As a course manager, I had to navigate participants' concerns, manage the team of servers, and maintain a calm presence—all while staying grounded myself.
Balancing Service and Self-Care Serving others can feel all-consuming, and it’s easy to neglect your own well-being. There were moments when I felt stretched too thin, questioning whether I had anything left to give.
Living the Lessons, Not Just Understanding Them Hearing about concepts like selflessness or servant leadership is intellectually satisfying, but embodying them in practice is a different story. Serving in Vipassana forced me to confront my resistance, impatience, and need for control.
The Struggles That Teach Us the Most
What I learned is that struggles are often our greatest teachers. The discomfort of serving in a role I hadn’t chosen taught me resilience, patience, and humility. Life doesn’t give us what we want—it gives us what we need to grow.
Simon Sinek’s idea of servant leadership isn’t just an ideal to aspire to; it’s a lived experience. The challenge is to move from intellectual understanding to action. Whether it’s a Marine officer ensuring their team eats first or a Vipassana course manager eating last, the act of putting others first is a transformative journey.
A Lesson for Life
Servant leadership is about embracing life’s inevitabilities—the lessons we cannot avoid, the roles we must play, the challenges we must face. It teaches us that leadership is not about authority but about service, not about recognition but about responsibility.
If there’s one thing I took away from this experience, it’s this: the ideas that resonate with us most deeply are the ones we’re meant to live. And in living them, we grow into the leaders we’re destined to become.
Comments